Raccoon Invasion

Every night I set out a bowl of cat food for my two cats every night. Every night we get five little visitors. When my parents found out who had eaten all the cat food, my parents started threatening that I pay for the catfood. Out of rage, the next night, I snuck out the back door with a rake in my hand. I came up behind the raccoons and beat one with a rake handle. It ran away as fast as it could. The other raccoon tried to squeeze through the railing on our porch. Apparently, it had gotten fat on the catfood and could barely fit. While it tried to squeeze through, I smacked it as hard as I could with the rake handle. Then again.
Finally, it made it through and ran towards our driveway. I followed it and hit it twice as hard as I could. Then it started limping and then rolling around on the ground twitching. It started to hiss at me. I thought it was going to turn around and come after me, so I ran inside as fast as I could.
The raccoon was crawling on it's belly towards safety. I finally concluded that I must have hit some nerve and that explained the twitching.
I was so freaked out. For a while I thought I had killed it. But the next week, I saw the same five visitors. But I decided to leave them be.

Phantom of the Snowman

Last night, my brother and I did something really funny.

We have these neighbors named Scott and Melissa who live across the street who really don't like our family. They've even told us so. Apparently, one of our cats pooped in their flowerbed so they told my parents that "When we moved here, we didn't want cats or kids next door." So since then, Neal and I have gone out of our way to do what kids do. When we go outside to play basketball or soccer, we bounce the ball extra hard and loud against the pavement. We yell really loud when we're in front of their house. Our nickname for them is "The Nazi Neighbors".
Okay, I admit that we might not be so nice to them, but they started it.

This couple has mental issues. They always have their blinds closed, lights off, and I think I've only seen them have friends over three times in the past three years. They have no social life. They complain to our Homeowner's Association anytime someone's dog escapes from it's backyard. They complain every time our cat takes a crap where they can see it. All they seem to do is whine and complain. I get a feeling that they hate and envy anybody who can have fun.

So out of our dislike for these people, Neal and I decide to build a snowman on their front lawn. We waited until about 9:00 at night, and started making a snowman. Neal added a butt-crack and two horns to its head. I went inside to get a carrot and some buttons while Neal continued to build the snowman. Then I went back outside to find Neal. He is nowhere to be found. Then I see a police car drive past. Right after I see that, Neal sprints from out of the bushes. He told me that Melissa opened the door while he was still working on the snowman. He took off running towards our house. Five minutes later, a police car drives past our house.

So I put two and two together. They called the cops on us, even though we weren't hurting anything. It's like these people are allergic to fun. Apparently, they can't take a joke. That's why Neal and I built it. We did it because we could push their buttons and they can't do anything to us.

So tonight, while Scott and Melissa left the house to go somewhere, we moved the snowman across their yard. When they get back they'll be extremely annoyed that "some punks" moved the snowman around. They'll probably call the cops on us again, but it's not like we did anything bad. We were just spreading the Christmas cheer!!!

year of 07

pic of me and daniel

daniel playing with string

me as a hippie for halloween

eliza, annelise and dad at the pumpkin patch

me holding daniel and cuddles

camylle played dressup with annelise and eliza

daniel chillin in the sun

daniel and cuddles chasing the string

cuddles attacking my hand

year of 08

cuddles is on my bike--LOL

cuddles (top) and Daniel (bottom)

camylle with her ancient BON JOVI Slippery When Wet Tape

camylle at the tulip festival

camylle holding daniel

neal starring as Trapazoid Boy in his school play

mom at neal's 5th grade graduation

our neighbor, annelise, eliza (left to right) and if you look really close, you'll see the mouse in front of eliza that my cat Daniel killed

eliza holding daniel

Neal in motion

me and my soccer girl pillow

neal's 11th b-day

neal @ his b-day party-- LOL- looks like Neal is wearing red lipstick

Killer Kat

I have 2 cats, Daniel and Cuddles. They both catch mice, but Daniel kills anything that breathes. Daniel has short hair and a black dot on his nose while Cuddles has a white face and a lion's mane.

The other day, he caught a garden snake. At first I thought he was playing with a piece of rope. When I found out it was a snake, i flipped out. I hate when he kills anything but mice. So I went out there to save the poor snake, (cuz snakes are cool and i wanted it as a pet), and i found he had ripped the snake's belly wide open!!! I get so grossed out at blood and guts(its guts were hanging out), that i didn't want that snake for a pet anymore. So i left it to die.

So today, i get back from camping, and my cat has not only killed a shrew, but it left a dead starling on the front lawn. I was so angry with him. But he thinks he is so hot cuz "oh...lookie here--i killed a bird". I didn't appreciate his attitude.

So I go find a shoebox and put the bird in there and bury it near our house. I make a headstone out of a slab of flat rock that my dad has extra of and bury it. Then i pray that the bird's babies will be safe from predators and that the other parent will care for it.

So i just get done burying the bird, when i find the snake that my cat had wounded. Of course, the poor thing was dead, too. So, tomorrow i get to do another burial.

I'm proud that my cat can hunt so good, but he better hunt the right thing or else. Well...that's stupid to say cuz hes just a cat and i cant really punish him except grab him by the scruff of the neck and scold him.

I might as well run a animal cemetery in my backyard.

Campfire Stories--bout the good ol days

I went camping last weekend over the mountains and in a beautiful SUNNY land called the Okanogan Highlands. My Aunt Erin and Uncle Joe were there.

Around the Campfire, we told stories about Erin and my Dad growing up. One of them was about Erin, Eric (my dad), and Kurt (my uncle). They had discovered this dead cow on their 10 acres that they lived on.

The Cow looked like an awesome way to spend their afternoons. So, everyday after school, they would meet at the cow. The gases inside the corpse had bloated, making it a sponge-like trampoline. They would jump on the cow, and each time, a huge snot bubble would emerge from the cow's nose. Maggots would also be expelled from the mouth of the corpse.

Kurt, Eric and Erin would have contests as to who could make the biggest snot bubble and to how many maggots shot out of the mouth. They had a great time until one day the cow had rotted completely.

That's just one of the things my aunt and uncles did for amusement back in the 70's.