A Lesson On Big Government

Today our church held an easter egg hunt. The teens showed up earlier to help stuff and hide the eggs for the little kids. We're not allowed to hunt for the eggs because we're too old, so Neal and I hatched (ha, ha, HATCHED--get it-- easter egg?) a plan to get our fill of candy. -
SO we stuffed certain eggs chalk-full of goodies and hid them in hard and designated places, like in clumps of grass or in the mole-holes where no normal 7-year old is gonna look.
When the race for eggs began, we took Eliza and Annelise to hunt for the eggs. We led them to the special eggs which, of course, no one had found yet. Halfway through the hunt, I counted Eliza and Annelise's baskets and found about 20 eggs per girl.
Now, Neal and I weren't going to be nice to our pesky sisters, for nothing, there was a method to our madness. We had gotten them to agree to a 40% tax, 20% to me, 20% to Neal. Now, we had helped them collect 2/3 of the eggs, anyways. If we hadn't of helped them, they would have only had about 7 eggs each. 66-40=26. They're profit was 26%. In the end, we both scored.
While we were strutting with 20 eggs in our baskets, there was this 2-year old who had only one egg. He looked at us with his big blue eyes and that totally melted my heart of steel. I had to dish out a couple eggs. I knew that it was less for me, and Neal was giving me a hard time about it, but the adults were giving me dirty looks as their own kid had just 4 eggs, so I ended up handing out the eggs to anyone who asked. Annelise didn't mind sharing, but ELiza figured out that the more I gave out, the fewer we had.
We started to count out our share of tasty corn-syrupy goodness, when my dad told us to save the greed until we were home and out of the public eye. So, Neal and I decided that, for waiting an extra hour, we would charge 10% interest as well. We added in a little tax for hiding the eggs and another itsy-bitsy one for going through the trouble of counting the candy out.

Kinda sounds like big brother (sister), huh? Unneccessary tax here, another one there. Gas tax, ammo tax, commerce tarriffs. Bail you out, then take over your business, and give free handouts to the jobless hippy next door.

Big Brother is taking care of you!!!

The Libs are Just Gonna Love This

Gunmen Kills Three Pittsburgh Police Officers
PITTSBURGH (KDKA/AP) ―
Police have identified 23 year-old Richard Poplawski, as seen here on his MySpace page, as the numSlides of totalImages A man opened fire on officers during a domestic disturbance call Saturday morning, killing three of them, a police official said. Friends said 23 year-old Richard Poplawski feared the Obama administration was poised to ban guns. Three officers were killed.Police planned to release more details at a 3 p.m. news conference Saturday. Poplawski was arrested after a several-hour standoff. One witness reported hearing hundreds of shots. The shootings occurred just two weeks after four police officers were fatally shot March 21 in Oakland, Calif., in the deadliest day for U.S. law enforcement since Sept. 11, 2001. Poplawski's friends at the scene described him as a young man who thought the Obama administration would ban guns. One friend, Edward Perkovic, said Poplawski feared "the Obama gun ban that's on the way" and "didn't like our rights being infringed upon." Another longtime friend, Aaron Vire, said he feared that President Obama was going to take away his rights, though he said he "wasn't violently against Obama." Perkovic, a 22-year-old who said he was Poplawski's best friend, said he got a call at work from him in which he said, "Eddie, I am going to die today. ... Tell your family I love them and I love you." Perkovic said: "I heard gunshots and he hung up. ... He sounded like he was in pain, like he got shot." Vire, 23, said Poplawski once had an Internet talk show but that it wasn't successful. Vire said his friend had an AK-47 rifle and several powerful handguns, including a .357 Magnum. Another friend, Joe DiMarco, said Poplawski had been laid off from his job at a glass factory earlier this year. DiMarco said he didn't know the name of the company, but knew Poplawski had been upset about losing his job. The officers were called to the home in the Stanton Heights neighborhood at about 7 a.m.Tom Moffitt, 51, a city firefighter who lives two blocks away, said he heard about the shooting on his scanner and came to the scene, where he heard "hundreds, just hundreds of shots. And not just once - several times." Rob Gift, 45, who lives a block away, said he heard rapid gunfire as he was letting his dog out. He said the neighborhood of well-kept single-family houses and manicured lawns is home to many police officers, firefighters, paramedics and other city workers. "It's just a very quiet neighborhood," Gift said. Stay with KDKA for more details on this story.
(© 2009 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.)


Oh boy. The liberal media is gonna run with this.

Some right wing nut decided to lose it on some innocent cops that have nothing to do with Obama's policies and will ruin it for everyone.

That guy just put our 2nd Amendment rights in the toilet and all Obama has to do is flush it.

Sometimes I wonder if people that do this are bribed by liberals to ruin it, but that's just my nutty side coming in.

Lingerie and Coffee Bean Fight

OH boy

G-ma's gonna have my head.

So Neal and I were having an argument and I got angry and looked for the nearest way of assault and my eyes settled upon the DOOR! And LO and BEHOLD there hung a cutesy pink little bra that happened to belong to my grandma. So I hurl it at Neal, forgetting that it is not a ball and will not fly like one. It lands behind the TV, and Neal runs to get it and picks it up with his two fingers, treating it like toxic waste. He gets ready to chuck it at me, and I run into the kitchen and look for the nearest weapon. For some reason I set my sights upon the coffee machine. As Neal comes around the corner, I plan to thunk him on the head with the coffee machine full of beans. My parents don't drink coffee, so I momentarily forget its plugged into the wall, and I yank it out, but it doesn't come out easy, and it knocks the coffee jar over as well, and it spews out beans everywhere.

There is a HUGE mess to clean up, all before my grandma and mom get home. I'm in deep doodoo if either of my siblings snitch.

Maybe I'm not a Coug Fan no more

On Monday night I had the freakiest dream while sleepin on my G-ma's couch ----Hey that is the second one. Maybe the couch has some mystical dream power,anyways

Neal and I are wildlife assaulting again, but this time we're over by the slides next to the woods in our subdivision and we're chasing something into the brush-- probably some possum-- anyways-- Neal's ten feet away from me when this thing jumps out of the blackberry thorns in the woods and runs across 138th St. Then it stops, turns around and sees me. I'm frightened but still calm. It runs at me and tries to pounce on me, but I kick it with my bad-knee-leg and it bites into my shoes-- they were leather and the fangs didn't penetrate. I was terrifi while trying to hit and punch the thing. While it's clawing at me with it's mouth stuck to my foot, I pull out a .357 Magnum (those are the choice anti-rape protection for women to keep in their purse. ) or some revolver similiar and shoot the COugar in the chest area. It still doesn't back off and I try to fire again but I can't (because the pistol is a single-shot or only has one shell), but the noise of the dry-firing makes the Cougar back off a little bit and I book it towards Mr. Lynch's house because for some reason he has 2 dogs and in the dream I'm convinvced it'll scare off the mountain lion.

So, Neal and I book it down the long driveway to the big house he has and frantically knock on the door as the wildcat stalks us up the driveway. This lady is sitting on the couch inside, shaking her head as we give her desperate looks through the big glass front door, so I get fed up of the lady's inconsiderate behavior, so I yank open the door and Neal and I run inside and slam the door just as the cougar arrives. The lady gives us dirty looks and tells us to sit on the couch and watch TV after we tell her about the cougar. Then this big (when I mean big, I mean both fat and big) walks into the living room and sits next to us on the couch. The lady calls our dad who shows up and is glad we're safe. He drives us home and the dream ends.

I was so dang terrified in that dream. I swear I will never go hiking on our property in Montana without a BIG gun at my side.


Ohh-- and the freakiest thing, so...

Two days later, there is this show on Animal Planet or something called WHEN THE BEAST STRIKES or something. It was about animal attacks on humans, and that day, it was on COUGARS!!!!!!!!! And this one guy died and this other lady nearly died because the same cougar mauled both of them.

I'm not even kidding you,, I was so freaked out. I will never go out into the woods again without a gun. When I turn 21, I'm not going anywhere without a gun, just in case.

Possum Sishkabobs

We have a visitor every few nights. It eats our cats' food and its MY parents money that is going down the drain. Neal and I sneak out to take care of our unwanted guests every time we see them. Neal grabbed this yard butler thing with prongs that till the soil and I grabbed my mom's mop and set out to drive away our visitor.We go around back and sneak up on the possum and smack it with our weapons. Neal chased it onto the front lawn and chucked the "butler" at the possum.OH MY GOSH!!!! It looked like we had skewered the thing. It was all still and just laid there like it was dead. Neal kept on hitting it until I screamed for him to stop since I thought he had killed the thing. After watching lay still for 2 minutes it all of a suddenly ran off. I thought we had killed it. My first thought was that Neal had skewered the thing. Possum shish kabobs!!!

Undies on Top

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did I eat last night or what??? I had the WEIRDEST dream I've had in a while.

Warning: Note to reader- the views expressed (and the insults hurled) in this post are not represented (entirely) by the author, but by her subconsious self, and the two should not, and cannot be affiliated (or if a school authority were too stumble upon this entry, the author would be in a serious {life endangering *cough*cough* undpreictable Mr. Pallo
} predicament involving--
-- OKAY BASICALLY to speak english for ya I would be in a big pile of doodoo.

So, I was at school during a break in either Mrs. Martin's class or Mr. Caster's, and I start walking around alone during the five min of break we have. I'm walking by the main office and where the courtyard meet, and I meet up with my friend Courtney and she starts talking to me. Then, I look down, and my underwear is laying at my ankles. I panic, but then realize I still had pants on. So, my undies were on top of my jeans the whole time. Courtney starts busting out laughing. So then I pull 'em back on up and adjust them and this hot guy that goes to our school starts walking down the hall and busts out laughing as I put 'er back on!! He's rolling around on the ground and his face is dark red and looks like he's about to bust a vessel. I am so embarassed and then decide to act like it's all a joke and I'm just a goofball on opposite day and start busting out laughing, too. Me and Courtney continue taking nature's best medicine and walk into the gym, which happens to have an assembly going on right then. We don't realize it, though, and stride right onto the "stage" part of the assembly. Then everyone starts laughing and realize I'm either going down in SMS history as the unluckiest idiot you ever did see, or the funniest chick in the school, so..... STAY TUNED













I start shakn' my butt right in front of everyone, kinda like a runway model pouting her lips and flutttering her (fake, overdone extremely nightmarish) eyes. Well, I start shaking that bum o' mine. Everyone started busting up laughing and some teacher's busted up laughing, while others gave me the EVIL EYE, (not to mention anyone *cough*cough*, Mrs. Chapman) for ruining their assembly.


THE END OF THE DREAM

If the dream had continued, I probably would have found myself in the principles office while she gives me the nasty-you-snot-nosed-kid look and then she opens up her file drawer and pulls out my student record and sets it on the interrogation desk. As she braces herself to see my record, she hold her breath like toxic substance will ooze out of my folder or something. She opens it ever so slowly, and LO AND BEHOLD...
a golden light pours out of it and engulfs the room in an aura undescribable by man and Mrs. Briganti is caught up in the rapture of it.

Then... the light is gone!, and she faces reality. "It's clean!" she cries, as if wracked(is that even a word?)by mortal woes.

A light shines down on me, and our principal considers my troubling deed done by my foul heart and says, "BEHOLD, ye are done, my naughty son(daughter), whose record art clean, however strang it hath been, no detention in sight, no, not even the slightest blight, for thou art free to roam as ye doth please."

OK-- what a dorky way to say, I have no ISS, OSS, Sat. Sls, or detentions., so she lets me of the hook with a stiff warning.
HEY-- you reader, don't look at me like that. I just wanted to spice it up a little-- make you want sommore.

So I wake up after sleeping on my granma's couch laughing and nearly woke up Neal. Hey-- maybe I'll show up at school with my ...

UNDIES ON TOP!!!